Jujur saya katakan, meski terlahir dalam keluarga muslim, ada suatu ketika,hati dan minda tertanya-tanya hukum Tuhan.
Dulu...saya paling meluat tengok penyanyi yang membaca Bismillah sebelum memulakan nyanyiannya(meski sebenarnya tiada niat pada diri penyanyi tersebut untuk riya').....hati saya membathin.."ala takat nak menyanyi pun....tak payah nak tunjuk sholeh/sholehah sangat...."
Dulu...saya juga menganggap remeh....apabila arwah nenek peringat..."sebelum pergi keluar rumah,bacalah bismillah..dulu..."....minda saya berontak..."ala nenek ni pun...leceh sangat..."
Hingga satu ketika....kerana mengejar deadline tugas dari pensyarah yang paling anti kompromi....saya terpaksa meminjam komputer seorang rakan....
Singkat cerita....skrin komputer tak boleh "on" walhal semua perkara dah dibuat mengikut prosedur. Melihat saya yang panik sekaligus celaru.....ayah rakanku menegur..."ada apa, nak? ".....Saya jawab singkat,"entah, pakcik...pc ni tak nak on..." Beliau tergelak..."ada hantu kot?.....Iman saya yang terlalu nipis seakan berkata,"takkan tengah hari ada hantu????"......Melihat saya yang makin kebingungan...pakcik itu berkata lagi...."Sebelum on pc tadi....dah baca ni kah belum?".....sambil jari telunjuknya menghala ke bahagian atas skrin....ada sticker bertuliskan BISMILLAH di situ...dalam bahasa Arab....Saya memandang tulisan itu...kosong....Ternyata betul kata orang-orang bijak..."ada kalanya mata memandang, tapi tidak melihat..." Mungkin kerana respon saya yang kaku.....si pakcik berkata lagi...."cuba baca...apa tulisan itu?....."Rasa tercabarlah pula ego..."ala, macam budak kecik pula pakcik ni buat..."...Saya mula membacanya dengan lidah berat..."Bismillahirrohmanirohim...." .....Pakcik itu menegur.."tak dengar lah...baca lagi kuat?....Sekali lagi saya ucapkan bismillahirrohmanirrohim....kali ini dengan penuh pengharapan semoga pc benar-benar on.....Subhanallah.....Komputer dah "on" sesuai harapan....Pakcik tu tergelak sambil berkata,"sekarang faham kan?"
Astaghfirullah....seumur hidup itulah perkara yang paling membuat saya sedar betapa agung kuasa Tuhan. Hanya dengan sepenggal Bismillah....apa yang sukar menjadi mudah..apa yang berat menjadi ringan.
Benarlah ternyata ilmu Allah Maha Luas...betapa kecil dan kerdilnya kita di hadapan Allah azza wa jalla. Ada banyak perkara yang belum atau mungkin takkan pernah mampu kita rungkai dengan ilmu manusia kerana di sebalik segala ilmu dan kuasa...kuasa Allah yang Maha Sempurna.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Mengemaskini Sistem Pendidikan Kita
Saya amat berpuas hati dengan kenyataan Timbalan Perdana Menteri, Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin baru-baru ini mengenai tiadanya penetapan tempoh masa berhubung keputusan sama ada untuk memansuhkan atau mengekalkan peperiksaan Penilaian Menengah Rendah (PMR) dan Ujian Pencapaian Sekolah Rendah (UPSR).
Sejak isu ini dilontarkan, ramai pihak telah pun memberikan maklum balas, baik secara positif mahupun negatif. Pihak yang bersetuju dengan pemansukhan kedua peperiksaan (atau satu peperiksaan sahaja) berpendapat bahwa ada kewajaran untuk berbuat demikian kerana aspek pembelajaran ketika ini dilihat lebih berorientasikan kepada peperiksaan sehingga tujuan utama untuk memberikan pendidikan holistik tidak dapat dilakukan sepenuhnya. Sudah masanya untuk melaksanakan sistem pendidikan bertaraf antarabangsa “A Level” atau “O Level”.
Pihak yang tidak bersetuju dengan pemansukhan itu pula berpendapat peperiksaan awam UPSR untuk tahun enam dan PMR untuk tingkatan tiga perlu dikekalkan kerana ia merupakan kayu pengukur bagi tahap pencapaian persekolahan pelajar. Jika peperiksaan tersebut dijadikan penilaian pelajar di peringkat sekolah sahaja, ini bermakna tiada piawaian menyeluruh di peringkat kebangsaan. Keputusan peperiksaan UPSR (dengan pencapaian) 5A dari sekolah luar bandar mungkin tidak sama nilainya dengan keputusan UPSR 5A dari sekolah di bandar.
Secara pribadi saya berpendapat, cepat atau lambat system A atu O Level sepatutnya digunapakai dalam sistem pendidikan kita. Akan tetapi, alangkah eloknya jika kita tumpukan pada usaha untuk mengemaskini sistem sedia ada terlebih dahulu. Berapa ramai ibu bapa di luar sana yang sekarang ini pun naik pening dek kerana ada sesetengah subjek pembelajaran yang seakan tidak terintegrasi dengan subjek pembelajaran sebelumnya, akibatnya guru kerap dipersalahkan kerana dianggap tidak mengajarkan subjek berkenaan secara “penuh”.
Berapa ramai pula ibu bapa yang kelam kabut kerana berbagai perubahan berlaku….sekejap guna bahasa Malaysia, sekejap ubah pula bahasa Inggris, lalu ubah pula Bahasa Melaysia, selepas itu…..???? Kemana sebetulnya hala tuju sistem pendidikan kita? Apakah kita menginginkan generasi yang cerdik pandai dalam bidang akademik sahaja, ataukah generasi yang lebih sukakan aktiviti ko-kurikulum sahaja ataukah generasi yang seimbang diantara keduanya? Itu dah satu hal.
Perkara lain pula yang patut dipikirkan adalah bagaimana menyeimbangkan kemampuan pelajar luar bandar dengan pelajar di bandar. Itu belum dikira lagi dengan berapa ramai pelajar sekolah rendah yang kemampuan 3M-nya (Membaca,Menulis,Mengira) belum pada tahap yang memuaskan. Tambahan pula dengan sekolah-sekolah yang tidak memiliki sarana dan prasarana yang mencukupi seperti di Sabah dan Serawak sehingga membantutkan aktiviti pembelajaran semasa.
Sudah bersediakah kita untuk selangkah lagi ke depan walhal masih ada banyak perkara yang perlu diperkemas dan kita pikirkan jalan penyelesaiannya.
Apa yang penting sekarang adalah kita sepatutnya menyediakan platform yang lebih kukuh untuk sistem pendidikan di masa hadapan. Mungkin dalam 10 atau 20 tahun yang akan datang barulah Negara ini bersedia untuk melaksanakan sistem pendidikan bertaraf antarabangsa.
Ini bukanlah pandangan “pessimistic”, tapi pandangan yang paling rasional setakat ini. Jangan kerana “burung terbang tinggi, punai di tangan dilepaskan”.
Sejak isu ini dilontarkan, ramai pihak telah pun memberikan maklum balas, baik secara positif mahupun negatif. Pihak yang bersetuju dengan pemansukhan kedua peperiksaan (atau satu peperiksaan sahaja) berpendapat bahwa ada kewajaran untuk berbuat demikian kerana aspek pembelajaran ketika ini dilihat lebih berorientasikan kepada peperiksaan sehingga tujuan utama untuk memberikan pendidikan holistik tidak dapat dilakukan sepenuhnya. Sudah masanya untuk melaksanakan sistem pendidikan bertaraf antarabangsa “A Level” atau “O Level”.
Pihak yang tidak bersetuju dengan pemansukhan itu pula berpendapat peperiksaan awam UPSR untuk tahun enam dan PMR untuk tingkatan tiga perlu dikekalkan kerana ia merupakan kayu pengukur bagi tahap pencapaian persekolahan pelajar. Jika peperiksaan tersebut dijadikan penilaian pelajar di peringkat sekolah sahaja, ini bermakna tiada piawaian menyeluruh di peringkat kebangsaan. Keputusan peperiksaan UPSR (dengan pencapaian) 5A dari sekolah luar bandar mungkin tidak sama nilainya dengan keputusan UPSR 5A dari sekolah di bandar.
Secara pribadi saya berpendapat, cepat atau lambat system A atu O Level sepatutnya digunapakai dalam sistem pendidikan kita. Akan tetapi, alangkah eloknya jika kita tumpukan pada usaha untuk mengemaskini sistem sedia ada terlebih dahulu. Berapa ramai ibu bapa di luar sana yang sekarang ini pun naik pening dek kerana ada sesetengah subjek pembelajaran yang seakan tidak terintegrasi dengan subjek pembelajaran sebelumnya, akibatnya guru kerap dipersalahkan kerana dianggap tidak mengajarkan subjek berkenaan secara “penuh”.
Berapa ramai pula ibu bapa yang kelam kabut kerana berbagai perubahan berlaku….sekejap guna bahasa Malaysia, sekejap ubah pula bahasa Inggris, lalu ubah pula Bahasa Melaysia, selepas itu…..???? Kemana sebetulnya hala tuju sistem pendidikan kita? Apakah kita menginginkan generasi yang cerdik pandai dalam bidang akademik sahaja, ataukah generasi yang lebih sukakan aktiviti ko-kurikulum sahaja ataukah generasi yang seimbang diantara keduanya? Itu dah satu hal.
Perkara lain pula yang patut dipikirkan adalah bagaimana menyeimbangkan kemampuan pelajar luar bandar dengan pelajar di bandar. Itu belum dikira lagi dengan berapa ramai pelajar sekolah rendah yang kemampuan 3M-nya (Membaca,Menulis,Mengira) belum pada tahap yang memuaskan. Tambahan pula dengan sekolah-sekolah yang tidak memiliki sarana dan prasarana yang mencukupi seperti di Sabah dan Serawak sehingga membantutkan aktiviti pembelajaran semasa.
Sudah bersediakah kita untuk selangkah lagi ke depan walhal masih ada banyak perkara yang perlu diperkemas dan kita pikirkan jalan penyelesaiannya.
Apa yang penting sekarang adalah kita sepatutnya menyediakan platform yang lebih kukuh untuk sistem pendidikan di masa hadapan. Mungkin dalam 10 atau 20 tahun yang akan datang barulah Negara ini bersedia untuk melaksanakan sistem pendidikan bertaraf antarabangsa.
Ini bukanlah pandangan “pessimistic”, tapi pandangan yang paling rasional setakat ini. Jangan kerana “burung terbang tinggi, punai di tangan dilepaskan”.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Anabolic Steroids
Also called: Anabolic-androgenic steroids, Performance-enhancing drugs
Anabolic steroids -- or more precisely, anabolic-androgenic steroids -- are the synthetic derivatives of the naturally occurring male anabolic hormone testosterone. Both anabolic and androgenic have origins from the Greek: anabolic, meaning "to build," and androgenic, meaning "masculinizing."
Testosterone's natural androgenic effects trigger the maturing of the male reproductive system in puberty, including the growth of body hair and the deepening of the voice. The hormone's anabolic effect helps the body retain dietary protein, which aids in the development of muscles. Although there are many types of steroids with varying degrees of anabolic and androgenic properties, it's the anabolic property of steroids that lures athletes. They take them to primarily increase muscle mass and strength."
Anabolic steroids are man-made substances related to male sex hormones. Medical uses of anabolic steroids include some hormone problems in men, late puberty and muscle loss from some diseases.
Bodybuilders and athletes often use anabolic steroids to build muscles and improve athletic performance. But using them this way is not legal or safe. Abuse of anabolic steroids has been linked with many health problems. They range from unattractive to life threatening and include
•Acne and cysts
•Breast growth and shrinking of testicles in men
•Voice deepening and growth of body hair in women
•Heart problems, including heart attack
•Liver disease, including cancer
•Aggressive behavior
There should not be a controversy over anabolic steroid use in athletics -- non-medical use of anabolic steroids is illegal and banned by most, if not all, major sports organizations. Still, some athletes persist in taking them, believing that these substances provide a competitive advantage. But beyond the issues of popularity or legality is the fact that anabolic steroids can cause serious physical and psychological side effects.
Steroids can be taken orally or they can be injected. Those that are injected are broken down into additional categories, those that are very long-lasting and those that last a shorter time. In recent years, use has shifted to the latter category -- shorter-lasting, water-soluble injections. The reason for that is that the side effects associated for the oral form were discovered to be especially worrisome for the liver. But the injectable steroids aren't free of side-effects either. There is no free ride and there is a price to be paid with either form.
It is not only the football player or weightlifter or sprinter who may be using anabolic steroids. Nor is it only men. White- and blue-collar workers, females and, most alarmingly, adolescents take steroids -- all linked by the desire to hopefully look, perform and feel better, regardless of the dangers.
Anabolic steroids are designed to mimic the bodybuilding traits of testosterone. Most healthy males produce less than 10 milligrams of testosterone a day. Females also produce testosterone but in minute amounts. Some athletes however, may use up to hundreds of milligrams a day, far exceeding the normally prescribed daily dose for legitimate medical purposes. Anabolic steroids do not improve agility, skill or cardiovascular capacity.
Physical side effects:
Men - Although anabolic steroids are derived from a male sex hormone, men who take them may actually experience a "feminization" effect along with a decrease in normal male sexual function. Some possible effects include:
•Reduced sperm count
•Impotence
•Development of breasts
•Shrinking of the testicles
•Difficulty or pain while urinating
Women - On the other hand, women often experience a "masculinization" effect from anabolic steroids, including the following:
•Facial hair growth
•Deepened voice
•Breast reduction
•Menstrual cycle changes
With continued use of anabolic steroids, both sexes can experience the following effects, which range from the merely unsightly to the life endangering. They include:
•Acne
•Bloated appearance
•Rapid weight gain
•Clotting disorders
•Liver damage
•Premature heart attacks and strokes
•Elevated cholesterol levels
•Weakened tendons
Behavioral side effects :
Anabolic steroids can cause severe mood swings. People's psychological states can run the gamut.. They can go from bouts of depression or extreme irritability to feelings of invincibility and outright aggression, commonly called "roid rage”. This is a dangerous state beyond mere assertiveness.
Recent evidence suggests that long-time steroid users and steroid abusers may experience the classic characteristics of addiction including cravings, difficulty in stopping steroid use and withdrawal symptoms.
Anabolic steroids -- or more precisely, anabolic-androgenic steroids -- are the synthetic derivatives of the naturally occurring male anabolic hormone testosterone. Both anabolic and androgenic have origins from the Greek: anabolic, meaning "to build," and androgenic, meaning "masculinizing."
Testosterone's natural androgenic effects trigger the maturing of the male reproductive system in puberty, including the growth of body hair and the deepening of the voice. The hormone's anabolic effect helps the body retain dietary protein, which aids in the development of muscles. Although there are many types of steroids with varying degrees of anabolic and androgenic properties, it's the anabolic property of steroids that lures athletes. They take them to primarily increase muscle mass and strength."
Anabolic steroids are man-made substances related to male sex hormones. Medical uses of anabolic steroids include some hormone problems in men, late puberty and muscle loss from some diseases.
Bodybuilders and athletes often use anabolic steroids to build muscles and improve athletic performance. But using them this way is not legal or safe. Abuse of anabolic steroids has been linked with many health problems. They range from unattractive to life threatening and include
•Acne and cysts
•Breast growth and shrinking of testicles in men
•Voice deepening and growth of body hair in women
•Heart problems, including heart attack
•Liver disease, including cancer
•Aggressive behavior
There should not be a controversy over anabolic steroid use in athletics -- non-medical use of anabolic steroids is illegal and banned by most, if not all, major sports organizations. Still, some athletes persist in taking them, believing that these substances provide a competitive advantage. But beyond the issues of popularity or legality is the fact that anabolic steroids can cause serious physical and psychological side effects.
Steroids can be taken orally or they can be injected. Those that are injected are broken down into additional categories, those that are very long-lasting and those that last a shorter time. In recent years, use has shifted to the latter category -- shorter-lasting, water-soluble injections. The reason for that is that the side effects associated for the oral form were discovered to be especially worrisome for the liver. But the injectable steroids aren't free of side-effects either. There is no free ride and there is a price to be paid with either form.
It is not only the football player or weightlifter or sprinter who may be using anabolic steroids. Nor is it only men. White- and blue-collar workers, females and, most alarmingly, adolescents take steroids -- all linked by the desire to hopefully look, perform and feel better, regardless of the dangers.
Anabolic steroids are designed to mimic the bodybuilding traits of testosterone. Most healthy males produce less than 10 milligrams of testosterone a day. Females also produce testosterone but in minute amounts. Some athletes however, may use up to hundreds of milligrams a day, far exceeding the normally prescribed daily dose for legitimate medical purposes. Anabolic steroids do not improve agility, skill or cardiovascular capacity.
Physical side effects:
Men - Although anabolic steroids are derived from a male sex hormone, men who take them may actually experience a "feminization" effect along with a decrease in normal male sexual function. Some possible effects include:
•Reduced sperm count
•Impotence
•Development of breasts
•Shrinking of the testicles
•Difficulty or pain while urinating
Women - On the other hand, women often experience a "masculinization" effect from anabolic steroids, including the following:
•Facial hair growth
•Deepened voice
•Breast reduction
•Menstrual cycle changes
With continued use of anabolic steroids, both sexes can experience the following effects, which range from the merely unsightly to the life endangering. They include:
•Acne
•Bloated appearance
•Rapid weight gain
•Clotting disorders
•Liver damage
•Premature heart attacks and strokes
•Elevated cholesterol levels
•Weakened tendons
Behavioral side effects :
Anabolic steroids can cause severe mood swings. People's psychological states can run the gamut.. They can go from bouts of depression or extreme irritability to feelings of invincibility and outright aggression, commonly called "roid rage”. This is a dangerous state beyond mere assertiveness.
Recent evidence suggests that long-time steroid users and steroid abusers may experience the classic characteristics of addiction including cravings, difficulty in stopping steroid use and withdrawal symptoms.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Cultural Chameleons / Split Personalities
Praying at home or the Masjid and then sneaking out to party. Wearing Hijaab around family and then turning into a fashion diva at school. One person, two worlds and a desperate struggle to juggle them both.
This is the reality which many Muslims living in. We can call them "cultural chameleons" or describe them as having "split personalities." Whatever the label, the situation is the same… with often tragic consequences. We are not just referring to your community brother or sister's devastating death, but rather we refer to the many grievous examples of teens running away from home, getting into drugs and much more - the worst of which is turning away totally from Islam, rejecting it completely. We are not exaggerating. It's a reality and those who deny it are either willfully blind or pitifully naive.
It is time that we addressed the situation seriously. First there must be awareness of the reality and knowledge of its causes. The next step is to know what to do when faced with it directly. And finally, we need to know how to nip the problem in the bud - because an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure.
Causes:
Although each situation is different, there is a general list of what can cause this worst nightmare of any Muslim parent.
•Lack of strong Islamic foundation in the home: As with most things, it begins in your own backyard. If you aren't raising your children as Muslims with a strong understanding of what it means to be a Muslim, then you can't expect them to be happy about having to follow strict rules all the time. It's also important to note the difference between Islam and culture. If you don't pray five times a day or encourage your kids to pray, yet freak out if a female family member walks out with her head uncovered, then you really need to straighten out your priorities.
•Double standards: Related to the first point, here we're talking about when parents are setting a double standard for themselves and their children: in public they seek to ingratiate themselves within Western society, to achieve the Western societies dream of big house, fancy car and being best friends with the Joneses next door; yet at home they are obsessed with their children following cultural practices that aren't even necessarily Islamic. It should be no surprise, then, when the children follow in their parents' footsteps and start living a double life themselves.
•Lack of personal understanding/ conviction of Islam: This is another major factor in youth straying from Islam. Again related to the first point - if you don't have a strong Islamic foundation in the home, then there will be most likely a lack of understanding of what exactly it means to be a Muslim. If you don't know the reason behind something, how likely are you to do something if you view it as restrictive and interfering? If you tell your children to pray because if they don't they will burn in Hell, then trust me, they won't be doing it out of love for Allah (SWT) - they will be doing it out fear and not even fear of Allah (SWT), but fear of you.
Similarly, if you tell a girl she has to wear Hijaab because otherwise she will "stain the family's honour" or some-such rubbish like that, then once she's exposed to the Western mentality of freedom (and total lack of anything resembling honour) she won't give two hoots about the Hijaab or your notions of honour. On the other hand, if your child has a personal relationship with Allah (SWT) and knows exactly why we do some things and stay away from others, they will be far more willing to tough it out and continue to obey Allah (SWT).
•General teen rebellion: Sometimes, teens can just be idiots. Common sense is a rare thing amongst youth these days and it shows… sadly, some take it too far - beyond the streaked hair, Tattoos and pierced bellybutton (hey, as long as it's covered up by Hijaab, be cool with it!) - and make some really bad choices. Being intoxicated by the passions of youth we never ponder for a moment that we shall we questioned by Allah (SWT).
•Insecurity: This is something which affects people everywhere, regardless of their race, religion or even age. The desire to want to "fit in" and become an accepted member of the crowd is human nature - sometimes it can be a good thing; other times it can be so harmful and detrimental. For girls, the issue is often about body image and beauty, which is why Hijaab becomes such a struggle. For guys, it can be about proving their "manliness" (by pursuing other girls or getting involved in 'tough guy' activities like drinking alcohol, drugs etc). Build your child's self-esteem at home and let them know that they don't need to seek approval from anyone except Allah (SWT).
Compliment your children, praise them, let them be confident in their faith and in themselves. Tell your son that he's cool. Tell your daughter that she's beautiful. Don't demean them or belittle them; honour them as the Holy Prophet (Sallallaahu Alaihi wa Sallam) honoured his daughter Hazrat Fatimah (sa) by giving her his sitting place.
•Bad companions: The Holy Prophet (Sallallaahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "The example of a good companion and a bad one is the bearer of musk and the worker on the bellows. A bearer of musk would give you some, you might buy some from him, or you might enjoy the fragrance of his musk. The worker on the bellows, on the other hand, might spoil your clothes with sparks from his bellows, or you get a bad smell from him."(Hadith Al-Bukhari and Muslim).Undoubtedly, the kind of people your kids hang out with will have a huge influence on them - especially at school, which is what a teen's life pretty much revolves around.
Non-Muslims (and even so-called "Muslims") who have totally different standards morality-wise will definitely make life difficult for your kid: challenging Islam and belittling all that it stands for. While we know that many will say it's a great Da'wah opportunity or that it builds character and can be a way to strengthen emaan, the reality is that not all youth are strong enough to emerge the company of such people unscathed. Sadly, we have lost too many of the younger generations to Shaytaan's misguided lifestyle and we can't use a minority of successful young Muslims to deny that reality. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) informed us that : "A man follows his friends religion, you should be careful whom you make friends with." (Hadith Abu Dawud/Tirmidhi)
•The "Adolescent" Myth: This mentality is one of "I'm young, let me have fun and then I'll be religious when I'm older!" It's an attitude of irresponsibility, immaturity and misunderstanding of Islam and the purpose of our lives. By absolving oneself of responsibility, it's easier for teens to indulge in the Haraam without feeling so guilty about it. Thus, it's obviously very important to instill a sense of responsibility and dutifulness to Allah (SWT) in our youth - basically, to abolish this kind of mentality. The Holy Prophet (sallallaahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said : "An intelligent person is the one who calls himself to account and and does deeds to benefit him after death and a foolish person is he who follows his desires and hopes from Allah (SWT)." (Hadith Tirmidhi)
Symptoms:
How do you know if your child, your sibling or your friend is a "cultural chameleon"? It can be difficult to spot it, but however much a kid can try to sneak around, those closest to them can usually figure out what's going on. Here are some of the symptoms of the double-life syndrome.
•Change of attitude - Increased rebellion, aggression and disrespect are major red flags. If they're behaving like that towards you, do you think they won't behave like that towards Allah (SWT)? In fact, if they are acting like that with you, then already they're showing their defiance of Allah! Taqwa and good behaviour to parents go hand-in-hand: "And your Lord has commanded that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to your parents." (Quran - Surah al-Israa 17, verse 23)
•Shows dislike of Islamic practices ("Yuck, Hijaab is so old-fashioned," "What's the point of praying? It's stupid!" etc.) This is particularly obvious in a household that is generally religious or has more than just a tentative connection to the religion.
•Secretive, sneaky. It's important for parents to keep an eye on their kids and know where they are and what they're doing. If you notice that your child is being secretive, sneaky and generally deceptive about their activities, then it's a major red flag that your son or daughter isn't doing the right thing. This goes for pretty much all families, Muslim and non-Muslim alike, but for us Muslims it means more than just that your kid is with bad company or doing bad things: it means that they're losing their connection to Allah (SWT) and to Islam, and this in itself is far worse than whatever sinful activities they're engaged in.
Solutions:
An ounce of prevention is worth more than a pound of cure. Educate your child from a young age, build a strong (but loving) Islamic environment within the home. Make them aware of their identity as Muslims, emphasize pride in their Muslim identity. However, we can't say that prevention is the only thing that we can do - the reality is that even children who were raised in a strong Islamic environment can be "lost" in the materialistic world… and this is the reality we have to deal with, not deny.
Having said that, here are some practical solutions on dealing with such situations.
•Do not react angrily or violently. If you find out your kid is lying to you and is leading a double life, do NOT freak out at them, scream at them, hit them, etc. This will :
1) scare them,
2) reinforce their belief that "Islam/ Muslims are evil/ violent", and
3) not be productive in any way, shape, or form.
•Take some time to cool off after you find out. Pray a Naafilah (voluntary salaah), and make lots of dua i.e. ask Allah (SWT) to grant you the patience and strength to deal with the situation.
•Talk to them. Ask them what has led them to do the things they've done, what their state of belief is (cases differ drastically: some teens still have emaan and are just confused; others go to the point where they deny Islam completely), and how they feel about their situation in general. Try not to judge them; the key is to listen to them and know where they're coming from. This will give you information on how to best approach them when the time comes to try and "fix" things.
•Serious counselling may be needed. If you feel as though you are unable to deal with the situation correctly yourself, contact a trustworthy, knowledgeable, and understanding person, Moulana or Shaykh in your area. It's best to have someone involved who not only knows the Islamic perspective of things, but can also relate to and understand your child. There must be someone whom your child can feel comfortable enough to work with/ talk to if they don't feel they can open up to you (the parents).
In this stage, there has to be a lot of give-and-take, questions-and-answers. If you already had a long talk with your child previously and asked them all those questions, then now is the time to bring forth your feelings. If you haven't had the talk, then now is the time to initiate it.
Counselling is a long and sometimes painful process, and only one step forward towards healing. One cannot expect things to change overnight and it will be very difficult - all I can say is, trust in Allah (SWT) and look to the Holy Prophet (pbuh) and Ahlul Bayt (as) for help. Have emaan, taqwa and lots of patience and forbearance. Constantly turn to Allah (SWT) in Du'a (prayer). Indeed, this is something that should be done at all times… it is a means of prevention, as well as part of the path to the cure.
Allah (SWT) Most Wise and Most Merciful says:
"No one despairs of Soothing Mercy from Allah except for those who are unbelievers" (Quran - 12:87)
This is the reality which many Muslims living in. We can call them "cultural chameleons" or describe them as having "split personalities." Whatever the label, the situation is the same… with often tragic consequences. We are not just referring to your community brother or sister's devastating death, but rather we refer to the many grievous examples of teens running away from home, getting into drugs and much more - the worst of which is turning away totally from Islam, rejecting it completely. We are not exaggerating. It's a reality and those who deny it are either willfully blind or pitifully naive.
It is time that we addressed the situation seriously. First there must be awareness of the reality and knowledge of its causes. The next step is to know what to do when faced with it directly. And finally, we need to know how to nip the problem in the bud - because an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure.
Causes:
Although each situation is different, there is a general list of what can cause this worst nightmare of any Muslim parent.
•Lack of strong Islamic foundation in the home: As with most things, it begins in your own backyard. If you aren't raising your children as Muslims with a strong understanding of what it means to be a Muslim, then you can't expect them to be happy about having to follow strict rules all the time. It's also important to note the difference between Islam and culture. If you don't pray five times a day or encourage your kids to pray, yet freak out if a female family member walks out with her head uncovered, then you really need to straighten out your priorities.
•Double standards: Related to the first point, here we're talking about when parents are setting a double standard for themselves and their children: in public they seek to ingratiate themselves within Western society, to achieve the Western societies dream of big house, fancy car and being best friends with the Joneses next door; yet at home they are obsessed with their children following cultural practices that aren't even necessarily Islamic. It should be no surprise, then, when the children follow in their parents' footsteps and start living a double life themselves.
•Lack of personal understanding/ conviction of Islam: This is another major factor in youth straying from Islam. Again related to the first point - if you don't have a strong Islamic foundation in the home, then there will be most likely a lack of understanding of what exactly it means to be a Muslim. If you don't know the reason behind something, how likely are you to do something if you view it as restrictive and interfering? If you tell your children to pray because if they don't they will burn in Hell, then trust me, they won't be doing it out of love for Allah (SWT) - they will be doing it out fear and not even fear of Allah (SWT), but fear of you.
Similarly, if you tell a girl she has to wear Hijaab because otherwise she will "stain the family's honour" or some-such rubbish like that, then once she's exposed to the Western mentality of freedom (and total lack of anything resembling honour) she won't give two hoots about the Hijaab or your notions of honour. On the other hand, if your child has a personal relationship with Allah (SWT) and knows exactly why we do some things and stay away from others, they will be far more willing to tough it out and continue to obey Allah (SWT).
•General teen rebellion: Sometimes, teens can just be idiots. Common sense is a rare thing amongst youth these days and it shows… sadly, some take it too far - beyond the streaked hair, Tattoos and pierced bellybutton (hey, as long as it's covered up by Hijaab, be cool with it!) - and make some really bad choices. Being intoxicated by the passions of youth we never ponder for a moment that we shall we questioned by Allah (SWT).
•Insecurity: This is something which affects people everywhere, regardless of their race, religion or even age. The desire to want to "fit in" and become an accepted member of the crowd is human nature - sometimes it can be a good thing; other times it can be so harmful and detrimental. For girls, the issue is often about body image and beauty, which is why Hijaab becomes such a struggle. For guys, it can be about proving their "manliness" (by pursuing other girls or getting involved in 'tough guy' activities like drinking alcohol, drugs etc). Build your child's self-esteem at home and let them know that they don't need to seek approval from anyone except Allah (SWT).
Compliment your children, praise them, let them be confident in their faith and in themselves. Tell your son that he's cool. Tell your daughter that she's beautiful. Don't demean them or belittle them; honour them as the Holy Prophet (Sallallaahu Alaihi wa Sallam) honoured his daughter Hazrat Fatimah (sa) by giving her his sitting place.
•Bad companions: The Holy Prophet (Sallallaahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "The example of a good companion and a bad one is the bearer of musk and the worker on the bellows. A bearer of musk would give you some, you might buy some from him, or you might enjoy the fragrance of his musk. The worker on the bellows, on the other hand, might spoil your clothes with sparks from his bellows, or you get a bad smell from him."(Hadith Al-Bukhari and Muslim).Undoubtedly, the kind of people your kids hang out with will have a huge influence on them - especially at school, which is what a teen's life pretty much revolves around.
Non-Muslims (and even so-called "Muslims") who have totally different standards morality-wise will definitely make life difficult for your kid: challenging Islam and belittling all that it stands for. While we know that many will say it's a great Da'wah opportunity or that it builds character and can be a way to strengthen emaan, the reality is that not all youth are strong enough to emerge the company of such people unscathed. Sadly, we have lost too many of the younger generations to Shaytaan's misguided lifestyle and we can't use a minority of successful young Muslims to deny that reality. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) informed us that : "A man follows his friends religion, you should be careful whom you make friends with." (Hadith Abu Dawud/Tirmidhi)
•The "Adolescent" Myth: This mentality is one of "I'm young, let me have fun and then I'll be religious when I'm older!" It's an attitude of irresponsibility, immaturity and misunderstanding of Islam and the purpose of our lives. By absolving oneself of responsibility, it's easier for teens to indulge in the Haraam without feeling so guilty about it. Thus, it's obviously very important to instill a sense of responsibility and dutifulness to Allah (SWT) in our youth - basically, to abolish this kind of mentality. The Holy Prophet (sallallaahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said : "An intelligent person is the one who calls himself to account and and does deeds to benefit him after death and a foolish person is he who follows his desires and hopes from Allah (SWT)." (Hadith Tirmidhi)
Symptoms:
How do you know if your child, your sibling or your friend is a "cultural chameleon"? It can be difficult to spot it, but however much a kid can try to sneak around, those closest to them can usually figure out what's going on. Here are some of the symptoms of the double-life syndrome.
•Change of attitude - Increased rebellion, aggression and disrespect are major red flags. If they're behaving like that towards you, do you think they won't behave like that towards Allah (SWT)? In fact, if they are acting like that with you, then already they're showing their defiance of Allah! Taqwa and good behaviour to parents go hand-in-hand: "And your Lord has commanded that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to your parents." (Quran - Surah al-Israa 17, verse 23)
•Shows dislike of Islamic practices ("Yuck, Hijaab is so old-fashioned," "What's the point of praying? It's stupid!" etc.) This is particularly obvious in a household that is generally religious or has more than just a tentative connection to the religion.
•Secretive, sneaky. It's important for parents to keep an eye on their kids and know where they are and what they're doing. If you notice that your child is being secretive, sneaky and generally deceptive about their activities, then it's a major red flag that your son or daughter isn't doing the right thing. This goes for pretty much all families, Muslim and non-Muslim alike, but for us Muslims it means more than just that your kid is with bad company or doing bad things: it means that they're losing their connection to Allah (SWT) and to Islam, and this in itself is far worse than whatever sinful activities they're engaged in.
Solutions:
An ounce of prevention is worth more than a pound of cure. Educate your child from a young age, build a strong (but loving) Islamic environment within the home. Make them aware of their identity as Muslims, emphasize pride in their Muslim identity. However, we can't say that prevention is the only thing that we can do - the reality is that even children who were raised in a strong Islamic environment can be "lost" in the materialistic world… and this is the reality we have to deal with, not deny.
Having said that, here are some practical solutions on dealing with such situations.
•Do not react angrily or violently. If you find out your kid is lying to you and is leading a double life, do NOT freak out at them, scream at them, hit them, etc. This will :
1) scare them,
2) reinforce their belief that "Islam/ Muslims are evil/ violent", and
3) not be productive in any way, shape, or form.
•Take some time to cool off after you find out. Pray a Naafilah (voluntary salaah), and make lots of dua i.e. ask Allah (SWT) to grant you the patience and strength to deal with the situation.
•Talk to them. Ask them what has led them to do the things they've done, what their state of belief is (cases differ drastically: some teens still have emaan and are just confused; others go to the point where they deny Islam completely), and how they feel about their situation in general. Try not to judge them; the key is to listen to them and know where they're coming from. This will give you information on how to best approach them when the time comes to try and "fix" things.
•Serious counselling may be needed. If you feel as though you are unable to deal with the situation correctly yourself, contact a trustworthy, knowledgeable, and understanding person, Moulana or Shaykh in your area. It's best to have someone involved who not only knows the Islamic perspective of things, but can also relate to and understand your child. There must be someone whom your child can feel comfortable enough to work with/ talk to if they don't feel they can open up to you (the parents).
In this stage, there has to be a lot of give-and-take, questions-and-answers. If you already had a long talk with your child previously and asked them all those questions, then now is the time to bring forth your feelings. If you haven't had the talk, then now is the time to initiate it.
Counselling is a long and sometimes painful process, and only one step forward towards healing. One cannot expect things to change overnight and it will be very difficult - all I can say is, trust in Allah (SWT) and look to the Holy Prophet (pbuh) and Ahlul Bayt (as) for help. Have emaan, taqwa and lots of patience and forbearance. Constantly turn to Allah (SWT) in Du'a (prayer). Indeed, this is something that should be done at all times… it is a means of prevention, as well as part of the path to the cure.
Allah (SWT) Most Wise and Most Merciful says:
"No one despairs of Soothing Mercy from Allah except for those who are unbelievers" (Quran - 12:87)
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Islamic Story 13: A white has no superiority over a black (Equality in Islam)
The following scene took place on a BA flight between Johannesburg and London.
A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man. Obviously disturbed by this, white woman called the air Hostess.
Madam, what is the matter, the air hostess asked?
You obviously do not see it then? White woman responded.
You placed me next to a black man. I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat.
Be calm please, the air hostess replied.
Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available. The air Hostess went away and then came back a few minutes later. Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in the economy class. I spoke to the captain and he informed me that there is also no seat in the business class. All the same, we still have one place in the first class.
Before the white woman could say anything, the air hostess continued. It is not usual for our company to permit someone from the economy class to sit in the first class However, given the circumstances; the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting. Air Hostess turned to the black man, and said. Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please take your hand luggage because a seat awaits you in the first class. At the moment, the other passengers who were shocked by what they had just witnessed stood up and applauded.
This is a true story which is not usually told. If you are against racism, please send this message to all your friends. According to the teachings of Islam, all mankind is from Adam and Eve; an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab, nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over a black, nor does a black have any superiority over white except by piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is the brother of another Muslim, and that Muslims constitute one brotherhood and one humanity.
A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man. Obviously disturbed by this, white woman called the air Hostess.
Madam, what is the matter, the air hostess asked?
You obviously do not see it then? White woman responded.
You placed me next to a black man. I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat.
Be calm please, the air hostess replied.
Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available. The air Hostess went away and then came back a few minutes later. Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in the economy class. I spoke to the captain and he informed me that there is also no seat in the business class. All the same, we still have one place in the first class.
Before the white woman could say anything, the air hostess continued. It is not usual for our company to permit someone from the economy class to sit in the first class However, given the circumstances; the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting. Air Hostess turned to the black man, and said. Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please take your hand luggage because a seat awaits you in the first class. At the moment, the other passengers who were shocked by what they had just witnessed stood up and applauded.
This is a true story which is not usually told. If you are against racism, please send this message to all your friends. According to the teachings of Islam, all mankind is from Adam and Eve; an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab, nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over a black, nor does a black have any superiority over white except by piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is the brother of another Muslim, and that Muslims constitute one brotherhood and one humanity.
La'natullah 'ala Israel
Akhir Mei, awal Jun 2010...ah, seperti biasa Israel buat pasal lagi. Kapal yang membawa bantuan kemanusiaan untuk Palestine diserang sesuka hati, walhal ianya berada di perairan antarabangsa. Bersyukurnya saya, kerana bukan terlahir dari bangsa Israel yang terlaknat hingga hari kiamat.Ya, memang Tuhan jadikan mereka bangsa "terpilih" kerana banyak nabi yang berasal dari bangsa mereka. Tapi itu bukan alasan untuk merasa superior sehingga menafikan keujudan bangsa lain di muka bumi ini.
Bersyukurnya saya, kerana masih ada yang peduli dengan nasib rakyat palestine yang tak habis-habis didera oleh kekejaman Israel. Bukan calang-calang orang yang sanggup menyertai misi kemanusiaan di sana. Perlu lebih dari sekedar guts (=keberanian/nyali), tapi juga iman di dada.
Sudah ramai negara yang menyuarakan kecaman dan kutukan terhadap Israel. Sayangnya, sekali lagi ianya ibarat air di daun keladi. Sedikit pun tidak menggoyahkan niat jahat Israel. Mungkin Israel berharap dengan sekatan yang dilakukan terhadap setiap misi kemanusiaan ke Palestine, rakyat Palestine akan lebih cepat mati lalu dikuasai seperti yang mereka impikan. Tapi saya yakin pada janji Allah, yang haq akan mengatasi yang bathil.
Kecaman dan kutukan sahaja tidak akan memadai. Kita memerlukan langkah proaktif, sekatan/embargo misalnya. Yang paling malang, Presiden USA Barrack Obama hanya sekedar menyatakan "kekesalan" terhadap apa yang berlaku. Tiada kutukan, kecaman...jangan pula berharap ia akan menyeru sesama negara pemegang Veto PBB untuk melakukan sekatan/embargo terhadap Negara Haram Israel. Alahai, nampak sungguh betapa double standardnya negara Uncle Sam ini. Sungguh berbeza dengan keangkuhannya ketika berdepan dengan Iran atau Korea Utara. Hanya dengan sedikit isu nuclear, boleh pula Negara yahudi Kecil ini, berlagak ala polis dunia, tapi berdepan sahaja dengan Israel, nampak sungguh kelemahannya.
Bukan semua diantara kita, mendapat peluang untuk turut serta secara aktif ataupun pergi terus ke Palestine untuk misi-misi kemanusiaan. Jangan bersedih. Tuhan maha Mengetahui apa yang tersimpan dalam dada kita. Niat dan Doa yang tulus ikhlas untuk sesama Muslim di Palestine sudah memadai buat setakat ini. Kalau boleh ditambah lagi dengan sumbangan riil dan materiil, tentu ia akan lebih baik lagi.Palestine bukan hanya memerlukan bantuan materil tapi juga sokongan moral dan doa.
Di tengah maraknya isu Palestine-Israel ini, kita janganlah pula lalai dengan isu Islam dan muslim di negara sendiri. Ada banyak ruang dan peluang untuk berbakti kepada agama. Kalau anda seorang guru, didiklah murid-murid anda dengan sabar, tanamkan jihad dalam dada mereka, agar mereka menjadi muslim yang tangguh kelak. Kalau anda seorang peniaga/ahli perniagaan, maka lakukanlah perniagaan itu berkonsepkan syariat Islam, mudah-mudahan bertambah kukahlah ekonomi ummah.
Hakikatnya, apa yang berlaku sedikit sebanyak menunjukkan bahawa solidarity dan ukhuwah Islamiyyah masih utuh terjaga. Mudah-mudahan kelak akan tercapai hajat kita semua yakni memerdekakan bumi Palestine dari rezim penjajah, Israel la'natullah. Wallahu'alam......
Bersyukurnya saya, kerana masih ada yang peduli dengan nasib rakyat palestine yang tak habis-habis didera oleh kekejaman Israel. Bukan calang-calang orang yang sanggup menyertai misi kemanusiaan di sana. Perlu lebih dari sekedar guts (=keberanian/nyali), tapi juga iman di dada.
Sudah ramai negara yang menyuarakan kecaman dan kutukan terhadap Israel. Sayangnya, sekali lagi ianya ibarat air di daun keladi. Sedikit pun tidak menggoyahkan niat jahat Israel. Mungkin Israel berharap dengan sekatan yang dilakukan terhadap setiap misi kemanusiaan ke Palestine, rakyat Palestine akan lebih cepat mati lalu dikuasai seperti yang mereka impikan. Tapi saya yakin pada janji Allah, yang haq akan mengatasi yang bathil.
Kecaman dan kutukan sahaja tidak akan memadai. Kita memerlukan langkah proaktif, sekatan/embargo misalnya. Yang paling malang, Presiden USA Barrack Obama hanya sekedar menyatakan "kekesalan" terhadap apa yang berlaku. Tiada kutukan, kecaman...jangan pula berharap ia akan menyeru sesama negara pemegang Veto PBB untuk melakukan sekatan/embargo terhadap Negara Haram Israel. Alahai, nampak sungguh betapa double standardnya negara Uncle Sam ini. Sungguh berbeza dengan keangkuhannya ketika berdepan dengan Iran atau Korea Utara. Hanya dengan sedikit isu nuclear, boleh pula Negara yahudi Kecil ini, berlagak ala polis dunia, tapi berdepan sahaja dengan Israel, nampak sungguh kelemahannya.
Bukan semua diantara kita, mendapat peluang untuk turut serta secara aktif ataupun pergi terus ke Palestine untuk misi-misi kemanusiaan. Jangan bersedih. Tuhan maha Mengetahui apa yang tersimpan dalam dada kita. Niat dan Doa yang tulus ikhlas untuk sesama Muslim di Palestine sudah memadai buat setakat ini. Kalau boleh ditambah lagi dengan sumbangan riil dan materiil, tentu ia akan lebih baik lagi.Palestine bukan hanya memerlukan bantuan materil tapi juga sokongan moral dan doa.
Di tengah maraknya isu Palestine-Israel ini, kita janganlah pula lalai dengan isu Islam dan muslim di negara sendiri. Ada banyak ruang dan peluang untuk berbakti kepada agama. Kalau anda seorang guru, didiklah murid-murid anda dengan sabar, tanamkan jihad dalam dada mereka, agar mereka menjadi muslim yang tangguh kelak. Kalau anda seorang peniaga/ahli perniagaan, maka lakukanlah perniagaan itu berkonsepkan syariat Islam, mudah-mudahan bertambah kukahlah ekonomi ummah.
Hakikatnya, apa yang berlaku sedikit sebanyak menunjukkan bahawa solidarity dan ukhuwah Islamiyyah masih utuh terjaga. Mudah-mudahan kelak akan tercapai hajat kita semua yakni memerdekakan bumi Palestine dari rezim penjajah, Israel la'natullah. Wallahu'alam......
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