The Meaning of Salawaat

Sheikh Mansour Leghaei
 

In the Name of Allah; the Most Compassionate, the Most Merciful

“ Allah and His Angels send blessings on the Prophet, O you who believe! send your blessings on him, and solute him a thorough salutation”. (33:56) One of the best ways to know the personality of great men is to study their literature and listen to their words. As Imam Ali states in Nahjul-Balagha : "Man is hidden behind his tongue” meaning by our words we introduce ourselves not with our certificates.

Different people according to their job use different jargons. Politicians have their own jargons, as physicians do, as drivers do etc. The jargons of truck drivers are different from professors. Therefore, when people talk you can more or less depending on your skills in this field can tell which class of society do they belong to.

Today, being the birthday anniversary of Imam Reda (a.s.) I would like to present to you a very fragrant flower from the garden of Imam Reda , i.e. a wisdom word of him. The Hadith is regarding the meaning of Salawat, something that we every day offer many times. However, many of us may not know enough if any about the significance of it.

First of all lets read the Hadith:

Sheikh Sadouq one of our distinguishing Olama' who was living in the 4th century AH has written a book named ‘Oyoun-Akhbarul-Reda' meaning ‘the fountains of the wisdom words of Imam Reda' . I quote the Hadith under the consideration from this book.

Imam Reda (a.s.): “O Allah ! send your blessings onto the one that Daily Prayers is honored with having the Salawat on him'.

Salam and Salawat on the Prophet is an established fact in the Quran. In Sura 33 Aya 56 we recite:

“ Allah and His Angels send Salat on the Prophet, O you who believe! send Salat on him, and solute him a thorough salutation”. (33:56)

As far as I know sending Salam and Salawat to the prophet of Islam, is one of the distinguishing characteristics of our Prophet, of which the previous prophets were deprived. Muslims across the world from the time the above Aya has been revealed up to the Day of Great Judgment are bound to send their Salawat onto the Prophet of Islam. Muslims five times a day when they call for Adhan and Eqama and even in their daily Prayers send their Salawat onto the Prophet of Islam.

This is due to the Divine Promise that “And We raised high for you your esteem” 94:4)


The Etiquette of Presence

When you are at the presence of a highly respected person you use high titles, like : His Eminence, Dr. Sh. etc. However, when he is absent and we are talking about him we may not bother about those titles. In Islamic Erfan the abpve expression is used firstly for Allah (s.w.t) and then for 14 Infallible. Muslim Gnostics believe they are and they should be always at the presence of Allah and the 14 infallible, and hence, they always mention those name with high respect. I don't ever remember that Imam Khomeini (r.a.) ever mentioned the name of Allah (swt) without any of His Divine Attributes.

Salawat on the Prophet and his pure progeny comes in this regards.

The Virtues of Salawat:

1. the most valuable deeds in your Scale:

2. An atonement for the sins:

“Whoever, can not make an atonement for his sins, then he should repeatedly send Salawat on the Prophet and his Ahlul-Bait, for it destroys the sins thoroughly.”

3. A key to the grant of supplication:
There are many Hadiths stating that in order to have your supplication granted start your supplication with Salawat and end it with Salawat. Because, Salawat is an absolutely granted supplication and Allah (swt) is more merciful than to accept the beginning of your supplication and the end of it , but does not grant the one in the middle.

4. Remembering the Prophet is equal to remembering Allah:

“Whoever remembers God will receive 10 rewards, and whoever remembers the Prophet will receive 10 rewards, for Allah has joined His Messenger to Himself.”

According to a Hadith fro Imam Reda (a.s.) Salawat is equal to Tasbih, Tahlil and Takbir.

5. The best Word (Dhikr) in the Holy Mosque:

Someone came to Imam Sadiq (a.s.) and said to him that he visited the Holy Mosque in Mecca . During his rituals he could not remember any other supplication except Salawat. The Imam replied you had remembered the best supplication.

6. Salawat ,a treatment to amnesia.

It is practically proven that Salawat will treat the forgetfulness.

7. Daily Prayers is invalid without Salawat.

All of the Maraje' agree that Salawat in Tashahod is compulsory and on the condition it is not mentioned intentionally then the Prayers is invalid. Also, Shafe' and Hanbali hold the same opinion for the second Tashahod.

Salawat in the universe:

The entire universe is asking the blessings for the Prophet. ‘Allah and His Angels are sending the blessings to the Prophet'. This is why the Prophet is ‘the blessings for the universe'. Following this natural process the believers are recommended to send the blessings onto the Prophet.

As a matter of fact, all of the Islamic rules are harmonious with the natural laws. That's why Islam is called the religion of nature (Fetrat). The universe is constantly asking the blessings for the ‘blessing of the world' and therefore the believers are also recommended to follow this natural law.

The Meaning of Salawat:

P1: Salawat is the plural form of Salat which simply means ‘to call' (Do'a). The reality of calling is that the person who calls tries to attract the attention of the one who is called to. This type of attracting the attention if it comes from a higher is called Rahmat (blessing) and if it comes from a lower is called Do'a (pray).

P2: It is an established fact in Islamic Erfan that the existence of the Prophet Mohammad (saww) is the first existent came from Allah. In other words, his existence is on the peak of the cone of the creation. That means the blessing of existence which contains all other blessings comes to the prophet first and then goes to others. The prayer of people to Allah does not reach Him unless through His Messenger, as the blessings of Allah does not reach His creatures unless through His Messenger.

Therefore, the Salawat of Allah to the Prophet since it comes from Allah the Omnipotent, He is sending the constant blessings to His Messenger and hence, the Prophet becomes ‘ Rahmatun-lelalamin' (blessing for the universe). As, the Salawat of people to the Prophet is to pray to God to send His blessings to them through the Prophet who is Rahmatun-Lelalamin.

Salawat of the Angels: As the Imam (a.s.) stated in the above Hadith , the Salawat of the angels is ‘Tazkeiah' . Tazkeiah means to exonerate and immaculate. What does it mean?

Each one of the angels is the resemblance of one of the beautiful attributes of God. No angel can ever resemble all Divine beautiful attributes. Whereas, the Prophet, being the most perfect man, held all of the Divine beautiful attributes. This is why his statue is higher than the angels. To this end, the angels are constantly exonerating and immaculating the Prophet in the sense that he is free from their efficiency. This is the meaning of prostration of the angels before Adam. That means the angels are the servants of the Prophet and his Ahlul-Bait.

How to perform the Salawat:

What appears in the Quran about the way Salawat must be conducted is to send it on to the Prophet. There is nothing regarding ‘Aal' (his pure family).

To this end, the Shiite will be questioned as why and on which basis do they add ‘Aal' to the Salawat ?

The answer of this question lies down under the circumstances in which the Aya was revealed.

Most of the interpreters of the Quran have quoted that once the Aya under the consideration was revealed , the companions asked the Prophet of Islam; O Messenger of God ! we know how to say Salam to you but how should we send Salawat onto you (which was something new for them). The Prophet (saww) replied: Say:

‘Allahuma salle alaa Mohammad wa Aale Mohammad Kama Salayta Alaa Ibrahim Ennaka Hamidun Majid.'

Apart from numerous Sunni resources who have quoted the above Hadith, Imam Reda (a.s.) in a debating meeting with the distinguishing Sunni scholars has mentioned the Hadith and all agreed upon its accuracy.

More over, there are some other Hadiths in which the Prophet has warned people to send an incomplete Salwat onto him. When he was asked what did he mean by incomplete Salawat , he replied: that is to send a Salawat to me and not to join my Aal with me.

It is interesting to quote that Muslim in his Sahih has opened a chapter under the heading:

‘ Chapter of Salat on the Prophet'

He has mentioned only two Hadiths in that chapter about the way the Salawat ought to be conducted. In the both Hadiths it is mentioned to say: Mohammad and Aal Mohammad. However, it seems Muslim himself or perhaps the publisher has ignored the contents of the chapter and when on the top of the chapter the name of the Prophet has been mentioned it is typed in front of it : Sallalahu alayhe Wa Sallam, the ‘Aal' is omitted.

In short, one of the reasons that the Prophet (saww) added his ‘Aal' to his name could be the Aya of Mobahila.

The acclaimed Muslim physicist, mathematician, and astronomer, Ibn al-Haytham

On 13th of the Islamic month of Jamadi as-Sani in 430 AH, the acclaimed Muslim physicist, mathematician, and astronomer, Abu Ali Hassan ibn al-Hassan ibn al-Haytham, passed away in Cairo at the age of 76 years. He was born in the city of Basra in Iraq, which was then a province of the Iranian Bouyid Empire. He was also an authority on medicine, philosophy, and theology, having studied in Basra and Baghdad during the Golden Era of the Islamic Civilization.
He conducted extensive research on light rays. His influence on physical sciences in general, and on optics in particular, has been held in high esteem and, in fact, ushered in a new era in optical research, both in theory and practice. Known as “Alhazen” to Medieval Europe, the Latin translation of his main work, Kitab al-Manazer (Book of Optics), exerted a great influence on Western science: for example, on the work of Roger Bacon, who cites him by name, and on Johannes Kepler and Galileo.
His research in catoptrics (the study of optical systems using mirrors) centred on spherical and parabolic mirrors and spherical aberration. He made the observation that the ratio between the angle of incidence and refraction does not remain constant, and investigated the magnifying power of a lens. He moved to Egypt which was then ruled by the Fatemid Shi'ite Ismaili dynasty and carried out major projects including effort to regulate the annual floods of the River Nile. He is credited with inventing the telescope centuries before the Europeans, and as is evident in his books, he determined that the shape of the Earth is spherical.

Frog Magic story

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes - that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"
The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to."
The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me".
So, KAZAM she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That will be okay because what is mine is his and what is his is mine."
So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, the woman was very jealous and envied of her husband, and hence she answered, "I would like a mild heart attack."
Imam Ali (as) said: Envious person is happy when evil befalls (the envied) and sad over happiness

Envy (hasad) is a dangerous Heart Disease.

Mother's order

A mother's order is to be respected, even in comparison with Allah's command, on the condition that the action concerned does not fall within the imperative and obligatory injunction. An example of that is Jihad, in the way of Allah, or recommended prayers.
"A man came in the presence of the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him and his progeny and said: I like to perform Jihad in the cause of Allah, but my mother is not at all inclined towards my doing so. The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him and his progeny replied: Go back and remain with your mother. I swear by the Lord that has sent me on a true mission that to remain with one's mother for one night (and serving her and doing good to her) is better than performing Jihad in the cause of Allah for a year."
The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him and his progeny said, "If you are performing recommended prayers and your father calls for you, do not break your prayers. But if your mother calls you, do break your prayers".
The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him and his progeny said: "A creature is not to be obeyed when it involves disobedience to the Creator."

NB: Happy 60th  birthday to my mom,Badariah Husin Reminton. We love you,mom.
       May Allah always bless you. Amin.........

Salwaat on Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w)

O Allah send blessings on Muhammad for the reason that he carried and sustained Thy revelation, and delivered Thy Message;
 send blessingson Muhammad for the reason that he prescribed Thy lawful and proscribed Thy unlawful, and taught Thy Book;
 send blessings on Muhammad for the reason that he established the prayers and gave the obligatory alms, and invited unto Thy Religion;
 send blessings on Muhammad for the reason that he proved the truth of Thy covenant and reminded people to beware of Thy warning;
 send blessings on Muhammad for the reason that Thou forgives sins, covers shortcomings, alleviates suffering, through him;
 send blessings on Muhammad for the reason that Thou wards off misery and impudence, dispels sorrows, accepts supplications, and keeps safe from misfortunes, through him;
 send blessings on Muhammad for the reason that Thou took pity on mankind, made barren lands grow fertile, put asunder the tyrants, and destroyed the dictators through him;
 send blessings on Muhammad for the reason that Thou multiplied provisions, provided refuge when terror reigned supreme, wrecked and uprooted the offensive loathsome forces of idolatory, and kept mankind covered with Thy mercy through him;
 send blessings on Muhammad for the reason that Thou sent him with the best of creeds, made faith strong, demolished the idols, glorified the Holy Kaa'bah through him;
 send blessings and absolute peace on Muhammad and on his pure and pious children.

اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ كَمَا حَمَلَ وَحْيَكَ وَ بَلَّغَ رِسَالاَتِكَ‏
وَ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ كَمَا أَحَلَّ حَلاَلَكَ وَ حَرَّمَ حَرَامَكَ وَ عَلَّمَ كِتَابَكَ‏
وَ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ كَمَا أَقَامَ الصَّلاَةَ وَ آتَى الزَّكَاةَ وَ دَعَا إِلَى دِينِكَ‏
وَ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ كَمَا صَدَّقَ بِوَعْدِكَ وَ أَشْفَقَ مِنْ وَعِيدِكَ‏
وَ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ كَمَا غَفَرْتَ بِهِ الذُّنُوبَ وَ سَتَرْتَ بِهِ الْعُيُوبَ وَ فَرَّجْتَ بِهِ الْكُرُوبَ‏
وَ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ كَمَا دَفَعْتَ بِهِ الشَّقَاءَ وَ كَشَفْتَ بِهِ الْغَمَّاءَ وَ أَجَبْتَ بِهِ الدُّعَاءَ وَ نَجَّيْتَ بِهِ مِنَ الْبَلاَءِ
وَ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ كَمَا رَحِمْتَ بِهِ الْعِبَادَ وَ أَحْيَيْتَ بِهِ الْبِلاَدَ وَ قَصَمْتَ بِهِ الْجَبَابِرَةَ وَ أَهْلَكْتَ بِهِ الْفَرَاعِنَةَ
وَ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ كَمَا أَضْعَفْتَ بِهِ الْأَمْوَالَ وَ أَحْرَزْتَ بِهِ مِنَ الْأَهْوَالِ وَ كَسَرْتَ بِهِ الْأَصْنَامَ وَ رَحِمْتَ بِهِ الْأَنَامَ‏
وَ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ كَمَا بَعَثْتَهُ بِخَيْرِ الْأَدْيَانِ وَ أَعْزَزْتَ بِهِ الْإِيمَانَ وَ تَبَّرْتَ بِهِ الْأَوْثَانَ وَ عَظَّمْتَ بِهِ الْبَيْتَ الْحَرَامَ‏
وَ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَ أَهْلِ بَيْتِهِ الطَّاهِرِينَ الْأَخْيَارِ وَ سَلَّمَ تَسْلِيما

Syair: Kasih Terkasih

Terbang merantau si burung Helang
Mencari ikan di tepi titi
Dari serantau abangku sayang
Bersua kita di Sungai Musi

Cantik menawan bunga Melati
Menghias rambut Putri Pertiwi
Bertemu pandang bertemu hati
Kasih dihulur cinta diberi

Mendayung sampan merentas negeri
Dilambung ombak melintas duri
Bahtera hidup mesra ditempuhi
Harungi samudera sehidup semati

Terang mentari sinari bumi
Ibarat suluh terangi diri
Kasih Abang selalu dinanti
Semoga kekal lagi abadi

NB: Happy Birthday, My dear Husband.
       Our children and I love you so much.

Forty Ethical (Akhlaq) Points on Interacting with your Child

By: Abbas and Shaheen Merali
1. Give gifts to your daughter(s) first.
2. Play with your children.[389] This has an important effect in the training and nurturing of your child. Our leaders in Islam have stressed the importance of this issue, and recommended it highly to Muslims.
It is narrated from the Prophet (s): “The person who has a child, should behave like a child with him.”[390] It is also narrated from Imām ‘Alī (as): “Anybody who has a child, should, for his/her training, bring themselves down to their level of childhood.”[391]
3. Do not hit your child when they cry, because it is narrated from the Prophet (s): “Do not hit your babies since their crying has a meaning. The first 4 months of crying is professing the unity of Allāh (swt), the second 4 months of crying is sending blessings upon the Prophet (s) and his family and the third 4 months of crying is the baby praying for the parents.”[392]
4. Kiss your child. It has been narrated from one of the Imāms that: “Kiss your children a great deal because for every kiss, you will be granted a Divine heavenly rank which would otherwise take 500 years to achieve!”[393]
It is also narrated that a man once came to the Prophet (s) and said: “I have never kissed my child.” The Prophet (s) said: “Surely a man like this will be a resident of the fire of hell.”
5. By saying Salām to your child, build their sense of personality and character. If youngsters say Salām, it is obligatory for elders to reply; however, it was a characteristic of the Prophet (s) to say Salām first, whether to elders or youngsters.[394]
6. Do not ridicule the actions of your child, nor call them silly.
7. Do not order or forbid your child too much, as this emboldens them and leads to rebellious behaviour when older.
8. Build your children’s characters by respecting them. We read in traditions that the Prophet (s) prolonged his sajdah until his grandson came down from his shoulders, and at other times he recited Salāt al-Jamā’at faster as he heard children of praying mothers crying. Likewise, Imām ‘Alī (as) used to ask his children questions about religious matters in the presence of others, and even passed on people’s questions to them to answer.
When parents don’t satisfy the natural urges and desires of the child, the child then resorts to wrong ways and means (often linked to sin) to try and give himself the necessary push to build his sense of self and importance. Personality, independence, will, self-trust, and likewise, weakness, baseness and lack of self-trust are all characteristics the foundations of which are in the lap of the father and bosom of the mother. A child who has not been treated like another human being or a valuable member of the family cannot be expected to have a well formed personality in adulthood.
9. Keep your promises. Keeping promises in Islam is a sign of one’s faith, and Allāh (swt) mentions it in the Qur’an.

وَأَوْفُوا بِالْعَهْدِ إِنَّ الْعَهْدَ كَانَ مَسْؤُولاً

“And fulfil the covenants; indeed all covenants are accountable.”[395]

وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِأَمَانَاتِهِمْ وَعَهْدِهِمْ رَاعُونَ

“And those who keep their trusts and covenants.”[396]
Keeping promises is one of the pillars of the prosperity of mankind and one of the best qualities of one’s Akhlāq, its base lying in one’s raising and training. It is narrated from the Prophet (s): “Like your children and treat them with affection and kindness. When you make a promise to them, you must keep it, because children consider you their sustainer.”[397]
10. For the sexual training of children, the parents must first teach their children not to enter their bedroom without asking permission. Allāh (swt) has pointed to this important point in Surat Nūr, Verse 58:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لِيَسْتَأْذِنُكُمُ الَّذِينَ مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ وَالَّذِينَ لَمْ يَبْلُغُوا الْحُلُمَ مِنكُمْ ثَلاَثَ مَرَّاتٍ مِن قَبْلِ صَلاَةِ الْفَجْرِ وَحِينَ تَضَعُونَ ثِيَابَكُم مِّنَ الظَّهِيرَةِ وَمِنْ بَعْدِ صَلاَةِ الْعِشَاء ثَلاَثُ عَوْرَاتٍ لَّكُمْ

“O you who have faith! Let your permission be sought by your slaves and those of you who have not reached puberty three times: before the dawn prayer, and when you put off your garments at noon, and after the night prayer. These are three times of privacy for you.”
It is also recommended to keep a close watch and control over their actions with others and prevent those actions that increase one’s sexual instinct (e.g. going out in mixed gatherings). It is important to mention that their curiosity is very high in childhood. In addition, they are very sensitive to what they watch and see, and fearlessly want to put it into action and try it out for themselves, without knowing or thinking that what they are doing may not be right.

Some useful points to be noted
a. Mothers should be careful that when tending to the cleanliness of their children (e.g. giving them baths), even newborns, other children are not present, especially those who are of a different gender.
b. From childhood, parents should not play with the child’s genital organs, or even their chest and thighs.
c. Never leave children alone or in private for long periods of time and when they are going through an inquisitive phase. It is also not recommended to leave them unattended with someone else during this time, especially a brother or sister.
d. Do not let girls of 6 years sit on a non-mahram man’s lap or be kissed by non-mahram men.
e. Do not let girls be naked in front of others. In particular, their chests and thighs should be covered.
f. Create love for Salāt in your child, as Allāh (swt) clearly states in the Noble Qur’an that Salāt makes one far from ugly acts.

إِنَّ الصَّلاَةَ تَنْهَى عَنِ الْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنكَرِ

“Indeed the prayer prevents indecencies and wrongs.”[398]
11. Spoiling a child creates weakness, and a lack of will and determination. These types of children trouble their parents in their childhood, and make them encounter many problems.

The spoilt children themselves face two types of problems
a. They have expectations that the rest of society will, like their parents, comfort and respect them no matter what, and carry out their wishes without any questions. When they realise that people will not only not do this, but will also ridicule these expectations, they become upset and feel humiliated and debased.
b. Such experiences form the base of contempt and make them angry, aggressive, lacking patience and weak. They become the type of people who think low of others and treat them with harsh words and actions.
12. Nothing silences the sense of self-trust in a child more than forcing him to do things they may not have the capability of doing. This is especially the case when, if the child is unsuccessful, it is followed by belittling statements like: “Don’t bother trying, you can’t, you don’t have the capability.”
13. Pray for your children, both during pregnancy and afterwards.[399]
14. Reminders and requests should be given with gentleness and softness so as not to create a barrier between parents and child. One day, Imām Husain (as) called his children and his brother’s children together and said to them: “All of you are the children of today’s society and, it is hoped, the leaders of tomorrow’s society. So learn and make efforts in the acquisition of knowledge, and whoever does not have a good memory and cannot memorise the subjects taught by the teacher in teaching sessions, (should) write them down and keep them at home.” Thus we see that the Imām created the love of acquiring knowledge in them without using techniques like scaring or forcing them, but by making them understand that knowledge is the path to honour and esteem.
15. If your child is respected, he/she is less likely to rebel against the rules of the house. Respect and good interaction between parent and child are the bases in forming the child’s character. It is narrated from the Prophet (s): “Respect your children and talk to them with (good) manners and a likeable method.”
16. A good role model is someone who adjusts their children’s desires wisely and with the correct techniques.
17. Foster the faith of your child. Children that have been raised from the beginning with faith in Allāh (swt) have a strong will and powerful soul and from their early years are mature and courageous; this is easily observed by their actions and words. The readiness of the soul of a child to learn faith and Akhlāq is like fertile ground in which any type of seed can grow. Therefore, parents should teach their child love for Allāh (swt) and the Ahlul Bayt (as) and leaders of Islam from the earliest opportunities.
It is narrated from Imām as-Sādiq (as): “Teach traditions to your children as soon as possible, before opposers (to your beliefs) reach them before you do.”[400]
In traditions, parents who do not take the future life (aakhirat) of their children into consideration are reproached. It is narrated that the Prophet (s)’s gaze fell on some children and he said: “Woe upon the children of the end of time (before the coming of the 12th Imām) because of the disliked methods of their fathers.” It was asked of him: “Oh Prophet (s) of Allāh (swt)! Because of their polytheistic fathers?” He replied, “No, because of their Muslim fathers who didn’t teach their children any religious duties. They were content with worthless material things for them. I am weary and exempt of such people…”[401]
It is said that in communist Russia, they used to eliminate the existence of God from the ground roots level; for example, when a child was hungry or thirsty their parents would let them cry and say to them, “Ask God to provide for you.” When the children would do this, and still remain hungry and thirsty, they used to say to them, “See, you cried to God he gave you nothing! Now ask Lenin (the Russian leader) to provide for you!” When the children would do this, then only would they give them food and drink. The effect of this was that it was instilled in the children from childhood that God doesn’t exist through this very deluded manner. This same concept is condemned in Surat Yāsīn, Verse 47:

قَالَ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا لِلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَنُطْعِمُ مَنْ لَّوْ يَشَآءُ اللٌّهُ أَطْعَمَهُ إِنْ أَنْـتُمْ إِلاَّ فِي ضَلاَلٍ مُّبِينٍ

“The faithless say to the faithful, ‘Shall we feed (someone) whom Allāh (swt) would have fed, had He wished? You are only in manifest error.’”
However, this is a wonderful lesson to us as to how Allāh (swt) should be introduced to a child from young age. Whenever a child gets to that age that he understands that whenever they desire something they need to ask their parents, their parents should ask them first to ask from Allāh (swt). Then when they provide the desired object, they should stress that it reached them through the blessings of Allāh (swt). Thus, as they grow up, they will be able to see Allāh (swt) as the underlying principal behind every action.
18. Stay away from wrist-grabbing and bossy behaviour with children.
19. One of the duties of parents is to foster the innate nature of telling the truth in children. Their behaviour in the house should be such that this becomes a habit. However, this is one of the more difficult areas of raising a child and attention to knowledge and action is very important.
It is narrated in a tradition from the Prophet (s): “May Allāh (swt) have mercy on the person that helps his child in (doing) good.” The narrator of the tradition asked: “How?” In his reply, the Prophet (s) gave 4 instructions:
a. Whatever the child has in his power and has carried out, accept it.
b. Don’t expect that which is hard for him.
c. Prevent him from sin.
d. Don’t lie to him, or do silly things.
20. Do not use fear as a method of raising your child, as this causes damage to their personality and leads to psychological problems. In particular, excess punishment by the mother weakens the relationship and value that the child has for his mother in his heart. Often a look or silence can be more effective in making the child understand their mistake than hitting them or scaring them.
21. Cuddling and kissing a child is one of their soul-foods, and it is necessary that enough of this is given to them. One of the reasons that a child is crying may be that they are thirsty for this expression of love. Children who grow up with plenty of love have confident personalities which are not swayed by the difficulties that crop up in life.
It is narrated from Imām as-Sādiq (as): “Certainly Allāh (swt) shows mercy upon His servants who have strong love for their offspring.”[402] It is also narrated from the Imām: “Prophet Mūsā (as) said the following to Allāh (swt) when he was on the mountain of Tur: “O Allāh (swt)! Which act is the best one according to you?” Allāh (swt) replied: “Loving children is the best act.”“
22. Parents have a responsibility to make their children understand the indecency of sin and create an aversion for people who partake in this, and likewise, to reproach the bad and encourage the child’s good actions. However, reproach and admiration has its time and place and should not be overdone as this itself can corrupt a child.
23. The beds of children of 6 years and above should be separated from each other, even if they are both daughters or both sons.[403]
24. As well as the natural characteristics that the child inherits from his parents, the environment and Nurture of the child have a profound effect. It is highly unlikely that in a family that does not function properly, a normal and natural child is raised.
In particular, the instructions of parents only have an effect if the parents lead by example. The first step of raising children is the Nurture of the self. Somebody who does not possess good Akhlāq cannot guide another to this, and similarly, hot-tempered parents cannot usually raise a calm and patient child.
Children need to be taught that characteristics such as lying, back-biting, bad language, etc. are disliked, and naturally, the child will refrain from such when the parents themselves have set such examples.
25. There should be a difference in the order and expectations of the behaviour of a child inside the home, and out. At home, allow the child to play freely.
26. Always bear the unexpected behaviour of your child to a limit and do not always take the mistakes of your chid to be unforgivable, so that you are not always compelled to punish. Patience, coping and forgiveness are a must when raising children. If your child has a quality that you do not like, it should be corrected in a wise manner without displaying contempt of the child, and the correct manner of doing things should be shown at the same time as stopping him/her from old ways.
When parents constantly tell the child off, they are belittling the child and not only are they not going to be successful in reforming the child, but are also going to create stubbornness in them. It is narrated from Imām ‘Alī (as): “Excess reproach fuels the fire of stubbornness.”[404]
27. When instructing your child, don’t mention the names of other children constantly, or compare them with others.
28. Stories are a useful and important method of encouraging good qualities and characteristics, and discouraging bad ones, such as the rights of friends, faith, etc. The Noble Qur’an uses this method to do the same as mentioned in Surat Yūsuf, Verse 111:

لَقَدْ كَانَ فِي قَصَصِهِمْ عِبْرَةٌ لِّأُولِي الأَلْبَابِ

“There is certainly a moral in their accounts for those who possess intellect.”
It is important to keep the following in mind when selecting stories:
a. They should mention Allāh (swt) in some form or the other, and be narrated with the intention of Nurturing the personality and characteristics of your child.
b. Attention should be paid to the child’s age, intelligence and mental state when choosing a story.
c. There shouldn’t be extremes, or lies or rumours far from the truth in the stories.
d. They should contain answers to the questions of the child.
e. The best stories should be chosen, just as Allāh (swt) has stated in Surat Yūsuf, Verse 3:

نَحْنُ نَقُصُّ عَلَيْكَ أَحْسَنَ الْقَصَصِ

“We will recount to you the best of narratives.”
f. Truth and righteousness should always prevail in the stories.
g. The main character (who is the role model) of the stories should not possess deviations or bad characteristics.
h. The stories should not be too lengthy or tiring for the child.
29. The mischievousness of your child in the early years is a sign of increased intelligence in the older years, so you shouldn’t be too worried or punish it too much.
30. Make your children perform Salāt from 7 years, and fast from 9 years, either half day or more or less, depending on their abilities.
It is narrated from Imām as-Sādiq (as): “When our children reach 5 years of age, we tell them to pray Salāt, so you tell your children to do this when they reach 7 years of age; and we tell our chidren at the age of 7 years to fast however much they have the ability to, half a day, or more, or less, and to break their fast when they become hungry or thirsty so that they get used to fasting and develop the ability for it, so you tell your children at the age of 9 years to fast however much they have the ability for, and when thirst overcomes them, to break their fast.”[405] and [406]
It is also narrated in a tradition: “We command our children to (do) the tasbih of Hadrat Fātima, just like we command them to (pray) Salāt.”[407]
It is important to remember that in acts of worship, just like everything else, there should be moderation. It is narrated from the Prophet (s): “Islam is the firm religion of Allāh (swt). Go forth with moderateness and don’t do something that will make your heart pessimistic to the worship of Allāh (swt).”[408]
31. Do not be quick to accuse your children of lying because until 5 years, real lying or lying out of self-interest is rare; rather it is due to their active imagination, related to playing or creating astonishment in others, or to the child’s exploration of the self.
32. Do not condemn a child who has tired you with their questions, as this weakens their sense of curiousity.
33. Try not to quarrel, especially in front of the child, as this troubles them greatly and affects their personality.
34. Children have a particular fear of the word death, especially death of their mother or father. Therefore, where it is not necessary, don’t speak constantly of your death, or the like. However, do teach your child the truth about death, clearly and calmly and without eliciting fear.
35. Find out about your child’s talents and develop these as much as possible.
36. In terms of wordly aspects, do not over-saturate your child so that they go on the wrong path, nor under do it, as both these methods are dangerous.
37. The single most important cause of the happiness of the child is the kindness of the parents. No other quality can create happiness and calmness in a child like love, and likewise, no other quality can disturb and trouble a child like the lack of affection from the parents.
Children of parents who are successful in this area try their best to please their parents and stay away from actions that will displease and trouble them, both in their childhood and when they are older. Therefore, love and affection not only satisfies the needs of the child but ensures their obedience.
Allāh (swt) has referred to this impact of kindness in the Noble Qur’an, in Surat Āli-‘Imrān, Verse 159:

فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِّنَ اللٌّهِ لِنتَ لَهُمْ وَلَوْ كُنتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ الْقَلْبِ لاَنفَضُّوا مِنْ حَوْلِكَ

“It is by Allāh (swt)’s mercy that you are gentle to them; and had you been harsh and hardhearted, surely they would have scattered from around you.”
It is important to note that there should not be extremes; too much love, just like too little, is destructive to the child; therefore practise the middle path and raise your child in such a manner that they are able to stand on their own two feet when older. It is narrated from Imām as-Sādiq (as): “The worst fathers are those who, in their goodness and love towards their child, go over the limits and incline to excesses.”[409]
38. It is important that the parents give freedom and independence to their children according to their capabilities, so that they develop their initiative, innate independence and self-trust. At the same time, one must be careful not to exceed the limits so that children bring harm to themselves.
Some parents, either to free themselves of their responsibilities or because of misplaced love, leave their children completely to their own devices; however, before long, the child grows up without knowing anything of their responsibilities in the house, or otherwise. It is at this point parents try to instil this in their children, not surprisingly without any effect.
Other parents however, do the opposite and do not give their children enough opportunities to lead their own activities, constantly interfering in what their children are doing and how. Both are wrong and have negative consequences.
39. Raising your child properly is one of the responsibilities of a parent, and lack of attention to this responsibility is a cause of reproach of the Imāms.[410] One should try their best through various ways to create the love of Allāh (swt) and the Ahlul Bayt (as), so that the child follows the right path. Insofar as the requisite of love is acquaintance and knowledge, one should try their best to instil this in their children.[411]
40. Teach your children the Qur’an. Recitation of Qur’an in the home spreads the superior words of the truth and reality of Islam. Being in an environment where one is familiar with the Noble Qur’an, listens to the recitation of the Noble Qur’an and acts upon the instructions of the Noble Qur’an, has a strong effect on the child’s life. Every time parents recite Qur’an, children are encouraged to do the same and follow them in this habit. In particular, those children who have a naturally strong memory and are talented can easily memorise the Qur’an, which will benefit them forever. [412]